Saturday, January 24, 2009

Five really bad Star Wars characters.

Jabba the Hutt - A fat muppet just doesn't scare me. Maybe it should.

Ewoks - Episode VI: Attack of the Teddy Bears.

Padme/Queen Amidala - From queen to crybaby in three episodes.

Boba Fett - The most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy . . . beaten by a blind man with a stick. But, hey, he looks cool.

Max Rebo - A rejected muppet from Sesame Street. Seriously, the character is so obviously a muppet (and a bad one at that) they could have used Grover or Miss Piggy and it would've looked more real.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jabba was cool and so was Boba Fett, I don't care what you say. But you have a point with all the rest. I'm surprised Jarjar isn't up there, but maybe he goes without saying.

Joe said...

Jabba would have been a lot more effective as a villain if he was portrayed by an actor instead of an oversized muppet.

As far as Boba Fett goes, what exactly was cool about him?

Anonymous said...

Ok so Boba Fett tracks Han and the gang after they pull that "We're garbage" stunt. He's the only bounty hunter with the cunning to do so. That's pretty cool. Also it makes me think that Boba thinks like Han, and if Han is cool then Boba is cool. Then Boba ambushes Han and the rest in Cloud city. If we read between the lines we can infer from this that Boba is again thinking like Han. Boba must have figured that Han needed help. Boba was able to figure out that the only place that he could get that was from Lando. We know that Boba beat Han to the punch on this becasue Lando says that the Empire got there right before Han did. Well it was Boba that lead the Empire to them. This is evedinced by the fact that Boba and Vader had some kind of deal worked out. If the Empire had found them on their own they wouldn't have cared to turn Han over to Boba just so he could collect his bounty. So Boba must have called up Vader and said "Hey I know where Han and the others are. If you guarnetee that I get Han I'll tell you where." You may say that Boba didn't do much, well so what. It's both wise and cool to let others do your dirty work for you. And that's just what Boba did with the Empire.

Later in Jabba's palace Leia, dressed up as a bounty hunter, threatens everyone with a thermal detonator. Everyone runs for cover exepct Boba, who reaches for his gun, and Jabba who just laughs. Once once we see a like mindedness among some characters, this time it's Jabba and Boba. Well if the above assumtion is true (The one about if Han is cooll then Boba is cool) then we can extend it here. If Han is cool then Boba is cool, and so if Boba is cool then Jabba is cool. Now going up to a crime boss like Jabba and threatening him for more money is a gutsy move. Gutsy moves are cool. Cool moves are recognized best by cool people. After the bomb threat Boba nods to Leia as if to say "Your cool and I recognize that. I'm cool too. What you did is something that I would have done. I can respect that."

Finally I would say that yes it is true that Boba was defeted by a blind man with a stick. But let us remember who that blind man is. It was Han Solo, Captain of the Millenium Falcon. The ship that made the Kessler run in ten(or was it five) parsects. A man who order's a wookie around. Now this guy is very cool. Cooler than Boba. In fact because Boba is cool it makes Han even cooler because he was able to take somone like Boba out dispite being handicaped at the time. And with that I rest my case. I would like to add that I'm just having fun here, even though I mean what I say.

Joe said...

By-the-by, my beef is not that Jabba is a poor character as much as he would have been far more menacing if someone like (I said like) Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee played him. Grand Moff Tarkin is the most effective, menacing villain in the Star Wars movies because instaed of being a puppet with a weight problem, he's portrayed by a gifted actor.

Boba Fett is so cool he can't take Solo by himself, he needs Vader and like a bazillion stormtroopers to help him.

And, I've said this before, Solo most definitely was not cool in Return of the Jedi. Solo beat the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy with a stick while blind. That doesn't make Solo cool, it just makes Boba Fett look retarded And then, to make matters worse, Boba Fett does the most uncool thing ever after being hit: he waves his arms around and screams like a girl. He can control his jetpack with his wristband(s) but does he attempt to do this? Nope. A truly cool bounty hunter would've grabbed his wristband controls and tried to control his jets. Not Boba Fett. His instinct is to wave his arms around and cry.

As far as not running and ducking when Leia Hunter pulls out a thermal detonator, he just looks stupid in that scene. She has a thermal detonator and he somehow thinks that pulling a gun is gonna show her! That scene always bothered me even before I realized Fett is a fraud. It's as if he's saying to himself, while shitting his pants, "Oh crap, I'd better look cool or something because this could be it!"

Boba Fett is by far the most over-rated character in Star Wars history. Frankly, Jar-Jar Binks is cooler.

Anonymous said...

Who says you have to be competent to be cool.